Sunday, June 27, 2010

Letters From the Past

Last night I was with a friend just walking around a lake and chatting. I seem to be walking around that lake quite often these days. Well, after awhile of walking, my friend asked if to sit down for a bit. I did and we began talking about God. As we were talking, she began to ask if He was really listening to what she had to say. She said she doubts Him sometimes. I began to tell her that He is always there. When we think He isn't listening, we just have to trust that He is. I told her there were and still are many times when I have the same thoughts. However, we shouldn't allow these thoughts to turn us away from Him.

I then opened my notebook and wanted to show her something I had written during a pretty dark time in my life. When I couldn't find it on my computer, I saw a different piece on my desktop. I opened it and we began to read it. It was crazy because I had completely forgotten what I had written about and as we read it, we saw that it pertained to exactly what we were talking about.

After we finished, I began thinking about it. It might have been good for her, but it was also something that I needed to read. It was things that have been on my heart and have placed to the side. It was God telling me to come back to it. I thought it was funny how God would use something I had written several months ago to get my attention. To tell me not to forget my promises.

And even before all of this, we were at a Korean church. The pastor was talking about time and our promises. For me, I don't usually listen the first time. I usually need something to hit me in the face before I actually hear it. I guess seeing it in my own writing was God's way of doing just that. I actually enjoy those moments. Moments of clarity. I know I could use a lot more. Sometimes it is quite easy to get distracted.

Friday, June 25, 2010

A Sabbath

Okay, so I'm sitting at a coffee shop I discovered earlier this week with a friend. Today would actually be the third day this week that I have come here. It's a good place to come and write. Its semi-near where I live and the people are friendly.

Well, I have finally begin to work on my body. I started yoga and am trying to ride my bike more. And by ride my bike more, I mean actually ride it. Since I started the musical back in December, I feel like a lot of things went to the wayside. I stopped riding my bike, I began eating fast food, and I was eating out way too much. I'm in a process of changing all of that now. I'm setting a budget for myself, exercising, and even writing more. Actually the past few weeks have been pretty good. I'm no longer in the musical so all of that stress is gone. However, now I have quite a bit of free time on my hands. Therefore, I am placing things such as yoga, riding my bike, and writing where the musical practice use to be. I think it will be good for me. Who knows, maybe I can write a story and try to shoot it later on.

So, I titled this 'A Sabbath' because today is one of the first days and a very long time where I didn't have anything planned. I mean, I did yoga this morning but after that, my day was free. I have no plans of meeting people. Today is a day of truly resting. I decided to come to the coffee shop because it is quite peaceful here. (And I was just given some food from the barista... for free.) It is a place I can come and just sit. I can eat a chicken salad if I want and drink some coffee. It has been refreshing to not have any plans.

I am one of those people who is always thinking of the future. I don't really allow my brain to rest. I'm constantly thinking of what I should do next and when I don't have something planned, I feel I need to plan something. I sometimes forget to take time for myself and just enjoy the moment. I have had so many conversations where I have given advice to not worry so much about the future, but to enjoy the now and never seem to listen to myself. I always seem to think this advice is for others and not me. However, days like today remind me, I need that just as much as everyone else. I'm no different than the person next to me.